Metonymy
by YggdrasilOmega
Summary: When the end comes, will you finally get what you want? Ep. 26 Alternate Alternate Reality fiction. R&R please. Now Revised.


Disclaimer: If Gainax, CO JP, or ADV Films looks down at the internet and sees my fiction I will remove it.

Neon Genesis Evangelion

Metonymy by YggdrasilOmega

Prologue: What a Wonderful World/The Beginning that sets off an eventual end.

The air smelled like roses and French perfume. The bedroom was lit in candlelight as two lovers embraced each other, both wearing nothing, but they're desire and love. The boy kissed his lover on the forehead, then on both cheeks, and finally on her petal-like lips. He kissed, not with the lust of a boy or the desire of a pervert, but the love of a person that knew exactly who he loved. She began to speak, but was silenced with his finger and another long kiss that drew both deeper into the bed. Her brown eyes showed the same love for him as he started kissing lower and lower down her neck until he stopped, looking straight into her beautiful brown eyes.

"Please, Shinji, please make love to me." Hikari, his love said, "Please, I don't care what you do to me, I just... I just want you so bad."

He said nothing, but nodded as he kissed her lips on final time before both became one in a single act of love, kindness, and compassion.

."Hhmmm... Hikari...mmm...? Oh, he he...Not there! Mmm..." mumbled Shinji in his morning deep slumber.

"Mmph...mm...ohhh?"  
To say Shinji's friends didn't exactly expect this was an understatement.  
To say Hikari was taking this well being audience to his "single act of love, kindness, and compassion" was---well---just plain stupid.  
Kensuke was first to respond by gently kicking Shinji in the leg, though this had the adverse and disturbing effect of Shinji saying, "Ohm Hikari, not so rough." giving another adverse effect: turning the "audience" a deeper shade of red that previously thought possible.

Shinji yawned waking from a dream that would be deemed, in retrospect, very pleasant. He was already having a good day in terms of mood and he was not even out of bed, yet. He must be the luckiest guy in existence to feel this good in the morning. The events following his waking would prove without a doubt that either God has a sick sense of humor or that Shinji Ikari, normal high school student, was just very unlucky. He began his day by slowly opening his eyes, better to get adjusted to the light of the sun that always pored through his window in the morning. After the sun was done blinding him for a few seconds (he saw this as only a minor inconvinence) he began to notice that he was not alone...

...as he found 5 pairs of eyes staring down at him with the most interesting shades of crimson.

Finding several people in one's home is a very frightful occurrence that sent Shinji towards an inevitable set of actions.

First he jerked forward and sat upward very rapidly while flinging the sheets off his body to be in semi-groggy fighting stance. In almost slow motion Shinji Ikari, protagonist, realized two things:  
1. All his friend's had come to his house to pick him up for school and him once again was talking in his sleep  
2. With the sheets on the floor, the, um, mayor was wishing everyone else in the room a hearty "Good Morning!"

There was silence. The wind whistled in the distance as his company stared at him and he stared back. Then abruptly, a loud explosion was reported coming from somewhere in Tokyo-3. Most agree it sounded something like this...

"WHAT THE HELL, IDIOT! HOLY CRAP! PUT SOME FREAKING PANTS ON!

Shinji sighed as he slid inharmoniously into his seat just as the bell rang. The day had just started and because of a big middle-finger from fate, it was already ruined. He looked towards Hikari, who seemed to still have a hint of blush still on her cheeks. But that blush was countered by a scowl or rather an inhuman, evil grin that exaggerated every shadow on her face as she looked back at Shinji no less than two seconds after he started looking at her. He looked away quickly, hoping maybe she was teasing with that freakishly evil-megalomaniac, James Bond villan-esque smile of hers when a plan started to form in her mind. He hated that little blemish on her psychological profiles, err... if she had psychological profiles, it's not like he would sneak into the school counselors office at night and swiftly steal Hikari's psychological profile to study over it night and day afterwards.

He was not one of THOSE types of perverts.

Hikari, definitely, was not in the mood to discuss this morning's happenings although the entire school will have found them amusing by lunch time. It was only a matter of time that Kensuke would email the entire class and the rest of the school of his findings, it was his social prerogative. He let out another nervous breath as he imagined his sensei finding out about any of this. Kaij-sensei and Misato-sensei are going to have a field day with this one.  
At that moment Misato Katsuragi slowly lurched through the doorway, letting out a yawn that sounded something like a "Good Morning". Misato was not a normal teacher by far, especially with looks that could kill normal high school students from blood loss which almost happened around 2 years ago when Misato had accidentally entered the pool during the boy's turn.  
That day was a very hard day for every male student.  
At the moment she was once again flirting with several male students, who despite their best efforts were doomed to failure. As Misato Katsuragi, besides denying it venomously, was known to only go out with one Kaji Ryouji. Namely the biggest pervert in the Tokyo-3 school district. Charming as always and it was also quite known that both Misato and Kaji had long ago started a contest to see how many students they could make blush in a single day. This ritual followed by a counting every lunch period on how many "victims" they had scored. The reason Misato denies being anywhere in the vicinity of Ryouji is still a mystery.  
Well, more like it's the almost unorthodox fighting techniques they use in arguments.  
Shinji soon turned his head after calling his name in his usual quiet manner and began examining Hikari once again. He had met Hikari two years ago when he moved here. He was instantly attracted by her as if her eyes gave off a hypnotic spell; also she had a killer ass. He, like the many others, was doomed to certain failure. Hikari was perhaps one of the most popular girls in the school, yet by all accounts had never been on a single date in her high school career.  
Bonk! A piece of paper slapped itself on the back of Shinji's head. Looking straight back he found his two nusanc---friends, Kensuke and Touji. Kensuke was always planning something, albeit perverted most of the time, to liven up things. While Touji seemed to be a lot calmer and wiser than he let on during class with his flamboyant acts towards Ms. Katsuragi. They both waved and then pointed down at their laptop. Shinji turned his attention to his own finding several emails sent to him: seeing all of them relating towards some perverted act and a ransom of sorts. Ahh, my good friends are blackmailing me... again, he thought. One email though was addressed from Hikari.  
His heart beat quickened. I hope...l hope she's not mad, he thought as his blood pressure soared into the heavens at just the chance at talking to Hikari, digitally or not. Miming a gulp he opened the letter.  
Dear Ikari.  
Sigh...like everyday at this school I find myself bored once again. I guess we should get this morning out of the way. To tell you the true I'm rather embarrassed at all that being said in front of everyone though I must admit I am rather flattered. So I have decided to risk it this once with a date with a semi-perverted soul such as yours. I will only do so if you reply with my request though. You must stand up right now and preach your love for me to the class.  
Right-freaking-Now you idiotic pervert  
- Love and Kisses, Hikari  
He was silent for a minute, rereading the short letter again. Imagined repercussions swimming through his mind as the various rumor speakers began their work, he was about to give the grapevine a whole year of gossip. He looked up and then slowly stood up all while whispering,  
"So that's why she's never been asked. So embarrassing..."  
And so Shinji Ikari walked from his desk and into hell.

It was a joke. Really. They didn't mean to trick Shinji so easily. It's just that he's kind of gullible when it comes to the female part of the human species. So, when Shinji Ikari rose from his desk, Touji and Kensuke's jaws unhinged and abruptly slammed into the desk. They couldn't believe Shinji didn't even see the P.S. they left saying unsurprisingly 'Just Kidding Shinji-kun!' He was walking slowly to the front of the class, looking out of the corners of his eyes at his supposed 'love'. As he was about to clear his throat, a small bit of worry arose in them.  
"Shinji will be very embarrassed after this---" Kensuke said the first idea out loud.  
Touji continued, "---And will kill us the second he gets a chance."  
There they were left to ponder the way he would kill them. That is, if he didn't die in the front of class.

Hikari wasn't normally known to be pissed by a boy's affections.  
Shinji was a special case.  
She felt her cheeks heat up with embarrassment as she recalled this morning's incident. Though she had a hard time repressing the thought of how cute Shinji was when he slept. To tell the truth, she never caught on to Shinji's advances at all. He's a great person and most of the time you wonder if he's doing kind acts out of just habit. That's what many girls in the class right now felt was special about him, and so did she at a certain level.  
But this morning was unforgivable.  
Her head gently lifted to find Misato once again rambling on like an idiot to her psychiatrist. She always did this, always started the class out like a perfect example of a teacher, and then smashed all logic by getting off the subject and once again talking about her "interesting" social life. Horror crept up across her face as she realized one, Shinji Ikari, was approaching the front of the class with a determined albeit nervous look that seemed to keep shifting over to where she sat.  
"He wouldn't."  
Shinji cleared his throat gently reminding the class of his existence, although Ms. Katsuragi was already about to inquire, he raised a hand for no questions. He then looked very affectionately towards her.  
The blush resumed on her face in full force, he was very cute.  
That would not save him from the execution she had planned for him if he said what she was thinking he'd say.

Shinji had found his way inevitably to the front of the class. Slowly 20 pairs of eyes rolled their way towards Shinji's person, which Misato had yet to catch or just did not care about the "being silent part and instead began to talk even more.  
"Katsuragi-sensei I...umm...I would..." Shinji said, trying to unsuccessfully get the attention of said teacher. In the back of Misato's brain though, a presence was felt, the presence of her favorite vict---student. It was widely known that because of Shinji's bashfulness and ability to blush at anything, he had been eliminated as a possible point in her and Kaji's contest, which did not exist and if it did she thought it was unfair and undemocratic that Shinji was taken out as a possible point.  
On one day alone she scored 318 successful points all because of him.  
"Ahh, Shinji-kun, what do you need, hmmmm?" She said, lowering her upper body a little to expose Shinji to more than a little cleavage. Even if Shinji was not part of the game anymore he was still the most fun to tease. His Id seemed to scream My gods look at that while his superego spoke quietly, bur forcefully: no not right now I have something even more important than...that.  
"Well... I'd like to announce", Shinji said audibly gulping, "that I..."  
Shinji looked over the class once again, seeing everyone staring intently at him. He then looked straight into Hikari's beautiful brown eyes. Brown eyes that unbeknownst to Shinji's perception betrayed fear and above all, rapid and successful reprisal for saying anything about her. Some of the students, in a subconscious manner, decided to position their desks as far away from Hikari as possible.  
"...Love Hikari and I would like to go out with her next Saturday." Shinji ended, the sweat was pouring down his face and his palms felt like he had been manhandling a fish. He ended by smiling at Hikari which started a level of chaos unheard of in Tokyo-3 General Public High School.  
For the second time that morning Shinji was in the middle of a silence. He looked deeper into Hikari's eyes with his most affectionate smile he could muster, this certainly not the correct idea as Hikari, who had at this point, the deepest crimson he himself had ever seen jump out of her seat and run crying out the door screaming, "Bastard!" But not before flattening Shinji Ikari with a Mortal Kombat-like uppercut.  
The class however took this time to glare at Shinji, throw foodstuffs, and gossip like mad. Hikari, being one of the most popular personalities at the school was not to be messed with and from the looks of things; he was going to have a LONG day.

"Incoming!" yelled Kensuke, soon after another piece of today's menu slammed into their table. For the last ten minutes that was their routine. Someone would tell the story of the day and soon after they'd have to duck to avoid being hit with another food item. The teachers who were supposed to stop such "routines" were presently in a "friendly" conversation about their students.  
That is to say Kaji and Misato were again tallying up their scores and arguing with each other over some trivial matter. The students had seen so much of it in the past year that it had slowly turned from entertainment to just a normal part of life. So the three notorious bachelors of the school were resigned to having food thrown at them until said meals hit Misato.  
Like right now.  
Wham!  
"Who the hell threw that?" Misato screamed, jumping out of her chair and scanning the lunch room for possible targets to her now incomprehensible fury.  
Hell if you spent 3 hours a night and hundreds of dollars on your hair you'd be pissed too.  
Kaji was the first to speak up...thankfully. "Katsuragi come on it's not that bad really..."  
This was met with a very loud slap by a very, very angry Ms. Misato Katsuragi as she turned to face the scared to death Mr. Ryouji. Although Kaji had witnessed many horrible sites in his life; War, famine, and poverty had nothing on how Misato now looked at him. As the verbal assault started many consider some of the words that Ms. Katsuragi used were not really words, but swear words combined to form even more complex swear words. All the students silently thanked Mr. Ryouji for his bravery. The last time Misato had not been given an answer to such a grotesque crime the whole student body ran circles around the school until a freshman admitted the transgression.

He was never seen again.  
No one dared to throw even a pea afterwards lest they invite certain doom from a certain female vixen. So the boys once again sat peaceful away from harm. Kensuke and Touji were still feeling guilty about this morning, but they too were scared. Shinji once had to defend himself against a no-name bully when he first came to Tokyo-3. It had not been pretty.  
_"Hey kid do you think you can just come in and take all my glory?"  
"Umm, sorry...I'm just new and I guess people around this place are really bored or something."  
The bully walked closer, making his several inches of extra height even more intimidating.  
"Well, I guess I'll just have to remind people that things can always get interesting with me around,"' he said pulling back his arm as much as he could while aiming his impending fist at Shinji Ikari.  
Slam! Although the bully didn't understand what exactly hit him, there were clues such as Shinji's fist rammed into his solar plexus and coming around—  
Smack!  
—with a left hook. As the boy drooped over, coughing up several ounces of blood. Shinji turned and walked away.  
"Hey you son of a b come back here and finish what you start" screamed the bully, blood running down the side of his mouth oblivious to the apparent hypocrite he was starting to become. Then he and several others, Kensuke and Touji included, witnessed one of the most terrifying things they'd ever seen.  
Shinji turned back around looking him straight in the eye with his own cold dark blue eyes and whispered without hint of emotion, "I'm sorry for troubling you, really I am. But please don't threaten me—ever." No one ever bothered him with physical violence ever again and something else happened after that.  
Shinji walked away and the legend of Iron-Balls Ikari was born._

But Shinji wouldn't hurt his best friends in the entire world over such a simple misunderstanding...would he? They didn't know and sure as hell didn't want to find out right now.

Shinji sighed for the one thousand-thirty-second time that day. He had counted ever since he woke up and thought of calling up some people on the idea of a world record. Today had been terrible, alright that was an understatement. The only way to even comprehend what Shinji was feeling at the moment would have you being retched from a dying grasshopper's mouth, eaten by a larger grasshopper, and subsequently digested.

To be Continued…

Author's Notes: I kind of want to congratulate myself for fixing most of the typos and grammatical mistakes. When I originally posted this story I forgot to actually proofread more than the parts I liked, so a few of the middles got tarnished. It's mostly fixed. Characters are WAAAAYYY out of characters, especially Hikari and ESPECIALLY Shinji. Look I know these things, Hell, if you made it through the prologue without vomiting I think I'd be proud of that. The formatting needs a fixing, too, can't forget that now can I? You actually might be wondering about the characterization: No I am not rewriting Shinji, Hikari, and the rest of the cast so I can make a "Shinji becomes less me mentally disturbed and kills all the antagonists in the story without once sweating profusely" fan fictions. I will be writing an alternate universe to the one in NGE episode 26.

As for reviewing, Claymor3 is one of my friends and likes to bad mouth me because he thinks he's clever. As for the rest of you—do as you wish, just don't waste my precious internet space.

Peace, YO


End file.
